2 weeks old,a good man and an update on weight

Well our little kitten (our pet name for her, its an inside joke between the family, and i will spare you the goofy details) is 2 weeks old and is changing everyday, which makes me sad. I have declared with this baby that I refuse to wish her away. You know i wish she would start crawling, talking, walking, be out of diapers, etc etc etc... As this is what most people tend to do with babies mostly because they just cant wait for them to grow up, well not me. Even though I am exhausted and running on 4 hours of sleep I am going to enjoy every second of this little girl that I can.

WARNING - mushy lovey dovey stuff to follow. I didn't know it was possible for me to love someone so much. i didn't know it was possible for that love to grow more deeply as every day passes. But that seems to be the situation I have found myself thrust into. This man is my hero, to say the least. He found me when I was broken and he put me back together again, I think I did the same for him too. As I look at our child I see so much of him. I have never felt this way about anyone before in my life which is kind of scary. WHY??? Because every man that I have ever had in my life allows me to fall in love with them (to a certain degree) and then walk away as if I had never existed. When I was younger I always thought I will stay with the father of my children no matter what. Well that all changes very quickly. Tay and Ems father and I did not belong together and that was obvious to everyone but me from the start. Then I fell into relationships with people that I thought I could "save", only to learn you cant save anyone but yourself. Then out of the blue, God obviously had a grand plan and it fell right into place that day, I met Justin. He and I quickly realized that we didn't have to "save" each other and that we didn't have to help the other one grow up. We realized that we didn't need each other we wanted each other, and that difference is huge. We didn't need anyone to complete us, we just needed our other half, not our better half, but our other half. I can honestly say he and I have never had a fight. Some of you may think that's crap but its the truth. Some of you may think that because we don't fight we lack passion and never get to "make up". Well I am here to tell you when you don't fight with someone the passion never leaves it is always there and you don't feel the need to "make up" because everything is right. For this man I am so very thankful, not a day goes by that I don't thank God for bringing him into my life. And now we have this perfect little girl, which has made me fall in love with him all over again. When I see him come home from work I get the same butterflies that I got in the beginning of our relationship. I cant wait to see him every day. I count the minutes until he gets home. While pregnant with Katie Bella I was quite uncomfortable and unable to snuggle up with him at night time. Now that I am getting back to normal I cant wait for him and I to hop in the bed in hopes that I will be snuggling with him for the entire night. I know this is not what you guys had in mind for my blog on Katie Bella's page but I just felt the need to share these thoughts.

ON THE OTHER HAND...The doctor appointment went great. This sweet girl is up to 7lbs 9oz so she does not have to go back into the hospital which made me so happy and I felt a sense of accomplishment.

From an exhausted mommy

As today is my actual first day alone at home with Katie Bella a flood of thoughts rushed into my head, don't ask me why, I think the exhaustion is starting to wear on me. She is now 1 week and 2 days old and I believe that I may have slept a total of 4-5 hours a night. This may seem like a normal amount of sleep for some of you but I am here to tell you it is not enough. I actually broke down in tears on Sunday due to the fact that I was feeling quite overwhelmed with the whole situation. You see I haven't actually done the "new mother" thing in about 9 years and it is not like riding a bike. I forgot all of the late night feedings and stinky diaper changes, the lack of sleep, post partum blues, forgetting to actually comb your hair, forgetting to eat and checking on a very sleepy baby every 5 minutes to make sure she is still breathing. Justin thinks I have lost my mind. He has told me on many occasions to just let her sleep, but I still get out of the bed and walk around to her crib and jiggle her every couple of minutes to make sure that she is still ok. Its starting to take its toll though because my sleep is never deep enough to allow me to rest. SHE IS WORTH IT ALL THOUGH! Last night as I stumbled down the hall with Katie Bella in tow I realized that I had puke in my hair (so not like me) and my boobs were leaking down my shirt and that I had only had 30 minutes of sleep. I started to laugh and think "motherhood really does change things". But enough about me, lets talk about the one that brought us all to this page....KATIE BELLA! She is doing so well, she is the love of our lives and we are so happy that she is finally here with us. I struggled to get pregnant for many years and to finally have this sweet little girl in my arms is an answered prayer. She was certainly meant to be. She had her first dr check up on Monday and Dr. Hixson was wonderful with her, he loved on her the whole time we were in the office. She is in the 50% on her head circumference and for her height. Her weight, well that's a different matter! When she was born she was 8lbs exactly, we left the hospital at 7lbs 6oz and we weighed in at 7lbs 2oz on Monday so this little girl gets to go back to the doctor on Friday to be weighed again. She can stay at 7lbs 2 oz or she can gain weight but if she loses any weight they are going to put her back in the hospital. This is something I do not want to even think about so I am trying to block it out of my mind. I will check back in on Friday and update you all as to her condition!

Welcome to the world...Katie Bella!!!

Katie Bella was born on 08/18/08 at 7:52 am. She weighed 8 lbs exactly and was 19.5 inches long with a head full of brown hair and already has blond highlights and I didn't even have to take her to the salon for them. We love her more than life itself. She has been more than a joy to have around even though she is quite the diva.

BIRTH STORY!

Not much to report on that really. We didn't sleep much, due to the anticipation of of sweet girl on Sunday night. I think Justin and I slept a total of 2 hours. We were up and at it around 3 am and on our way to meet our girl by 4 am. None of the family was going to be there until 6am so Justin and I enjoyed our last moments alone together. Once the girls, mom, Justin's mom and dad and sister showed up that place was a mad house. Not long after though (30 minutes) they were walking me back to the OR. After a tearful goodbye (I was sooooo scared) and screaming to my girls that their mother loved them I was in the OR. POOR NURSES HAD NO IDEA WHAT THEY WERE IN FOR! I was given my spinal block which went well, this was the procedure that put me into respiratory distress with Taylor so I was quite happy when all went well. They laid me down on the table and I went numb, all but my mouth went numb. For the next 45 minutes I talked about any and everything I could think of. I think my thought process was if I continued to talk then I could not die because I would be too busy talking. The poor anesthesiologist was in no way prepared for me as I checked my blood pressure and heart rate more than he did. Little did he know that I am in the medical profession and knew exactly what to look for. He was a sweet heart though and just let me do my thing. At one point my bp was 80/54 and my heart rate was 151, and I about jumped off the table, but bless his heart he just kept pumping me full of drugs. The told me that the more versed they gave me the more I talked, the versed should have knocked me the hell out. At 7:52 it literally felt like a weight had been lifted off of my stomach and all I heard was "WHOA" and "That's a huge baby" and "That girl is BIG" this scared the holy crap out of me because I still had not seen her and was expecting them to lift a female football player over the curtain. Then the moment of truth, they stuck her sweet face over the curtain and my life changed forever. I saw her out of the corner of my eye as they were cleaning her up and thought "she is tiny"....just goes to show you the difference of opinions. Her apgars were 8-9 for the first and a solid 9 for the second and third. She was healthy and beautiful, what more could I ask for? After the surgery they wheeled me back into the recovery room and brought us our sweet girl. That afternoon they came to me and told me there was a problem, my eyes starting tearing and I immediately felt a lump in my throat. Katie Bella had some fluid in her lungs and they had taken some blood work and done a chest x-ray which was not showing pneumonia, so that was a relief. Her blood work was showing an infection due to the fluid and they were unsure that she would be able to leave the nursery. So 8 hours after I had been gutted I got out of bed and ran to the nursery to be with my baby. I sat in there with Justin and cried. 20 minutes after we left they were bringing her into the room, her pediatrician had given her the green light, just a minor infection but she would have to stay an extra day for her antibiotics. That poor baby still has bruises on both of her hands from the IV's. All in all our stay was wonderful, our nurses for the most part were awesome, with the exception of one, but hell there is always that one that is just in the wrong profession. We brought her home yesterday and she did very well. Mom has had the girls all week so they came over to "bond" with their sister and then they were back off to grannys. Katie Bella and I stayed up most of the night as she is still trying to adjust to "life". Right now however she is sound asleep and has been so since 3pm (its not 6pm) which is pretty darn good for a breast fed baby.

I want to thank everyone that came to the hospital to see her. You are all such a big part of my life and I am so glad that you were there to share this with me. Aunt Cyndi, Aunt CeeCee, grandma and grandpa Barzee, Aunt Khristyna, Uncle Joe, Adam, Alyssa, Mom, Taylor, Emily, Kryssy, Amy and Bud you guys are awesome and we love you all! Well I am off to wake my girl up so that I can feed her but I will be posting many updates on here for you all to keep up with her. We love you all!

-Amy, Justin and all of our girls!

"This is going to be interesting"

6 words you never want to hear from your doctor when discussing your upcoming C-Section. However I heard those words today! CRAP!!! So as all of you know,we are now in the home stretch, 3days and counting...that's right 3 DAYS. So now that we are getting so close to the day I think I just might back out. I was laying in the hospital today thinking "I am not ready to do this, maybe they will just forget to give me a c-section and we will act like this whole thing never happened". YEA RIGHT, needless to say my nerves have gotten the best of me. I am so ridiculously scared at this point that I just want to run and hide. For those of you who know me well, you know that one of my biggest fears is surgery. I had a horrible experience having a c-section with Taylor (after 38.5 hours of hard labor) and receiving an epidural that sent me into respiratory distress they decided I needed an emergency c-section...it was quite the horrific experience, one that my mother and I will never forget, as she had to sit there helpless while I stopped breathing for over a minute. The thought of something going wrong again haunts me every second of the day.
Okay so what has brought me to tell you all this...today was my last pre-natal check up with Dr. Riley, my b/p was through the roof again (140/100) so I knew from the beginning that I was going into the hospital for another NST. Dr. Riley comes into the office and listened to Katie's heartbeat (it was fabulous) and i started asking questions...(HERE WE GO) how many people can I have in the OR (1), do you allow cameras (yes), how long will my hospital stay be (2-3 days), after my last surgery you said I had a ton of scar tissue is that going to be an issue (this is where the discussion turns). Dr. Riley says "Well let me look at your file at the surgical notes (from my LEEP and the removal of my fallopian tube, ovary and tumor)" Then within the same breath says "This is going to be interesting" excuse me? And he replies "Well, its a good thing that this is a planned c-section and not an emergency, we are just really going to have to take our time". At this point I explain to him that Valium will be a must because he has now scared the poop out of me, to which he assures me that I will be kept comfy and relaxed....we will see about that! Then he sends me off to the hospital with orders in hand for the NST, which turned out fine, my b/p dropped back down to a normal state (106/75) and they sent me home with instructions to be at the hospital Monday morning at 4 am.
So this will most likely be my last blog while pregnant, the next time you guys hear from me, I will hopefully have some pictures for you all to oooooh and awwww over. Please please please keep Katie and I in all of your prayers that we both come through this surgery happy and healthy. We cant wait to meet her, but we are still very nervous!
Oh yea, if anyone wants to get in on the action Mom, Justin and Khristyna have a bet going on how much this little one will weigh... Mom - 9lbs, Justin - 7.4, and Khristyna - 6.13. I wonder who will win this one...I will let you guys know sometime Monday afternoon...

A bumpy ride

Oh where do I begin? HMMMM! Well over the weekend (tax free holiday - YIPEE) mom and I decided it would be a good time to take the girls school shopping. Thank goodness for my mother or I would have never made it. She dropped me off at the door and picked me up at the door and was in charge of Kryssy (the 3 year old) all day long. After 1 mall, and one escalator accident - nothing big just a scratched knee for Kryssy, and 8 other locations both girls had spent a grand total of right around $900. I think they should be set for school until at least Christmas, or at least they better be. I never realized how much of an activity shopping was until I ventured out at 9.5 months pregnant in the 100 degree heat of Tennessee. But I made it through the whole experience with only 1 contraction....yay! But there were times (like in Target, a place that has nowhere to sit) that I actually sat on the ground in the middle of the store, hell I am not too proud, I know my limits!
Ok in other news, no baby yet. She is still obviously very comfy inside of me, which is more than I can say for myself. Yesterday for instance, she was so active that she brought me to my knees on several occasions. I don't ever remember feeling these pains with Tay and Em (although that was 10 and 15 years ago). Oh well, there is an end in site....August 18th and I am counting down the days!

2 weeks and counting down the days!

Well guys we now have exactly 17 days until Katie Bella graces this world with her beautiful little face. Has this been easy? NOPE! Ok so here's the update...
Last Friday while Justin was at work I started having contractions at 5pm which were 30 minutes apart...not bad, I know. So I decided to wait it out. Then around 6:30 they were 15 minutes apart...hold the phone...I am not suppose to go into Labor, I have a C-section scheduled. So we pack the girls up and go straight to Labor and Delivery at the hospital (my doctor was on vacation). After being monitored for an hour they came in and decided to give me a shot of Terbutaline to stop the contractions. The on call doc had no interest in slicing and dicing without Dr. Riley in town (I cant say I don't blame her). Turns out that Terbutaline has a couple of side effects (ie rapid heart beat) so we had to stay and be "watched". At one point my heart rate was 130 and Katie's was 212, it got kind of scary!!!! So eventually both Katie and I came back down and we were sent home.
On Thursday I had my regular weekly checkup. So I pack the girls up and we go. Typical at first...urine sample, weight (lost 3 more lbs) then it was time for my BP. 158/98...WAIT WHAT!!???!!! My blood pressure is usually very low. I told the nurse that I have been having these "episodes" for a couple of weeks now. Cold sweat, nausea, blurred vision, etc. She said she would tell Dr. Riley. Ok, so in walks Riley. I had to have my "weekly dialation check" (OH JOY) and he felt little miss perfects head (He said she should have quite the head full of hair). Then he decided to listen for her heartbeat...it was 180 and was not going back to normal (normal at this stage in utero is 125-140). He pulls me up and says you are going to the hospital. HUH????!!!!??? Ok, why? Well my BP is up and Katie is in stress if this keeps up we are going to deliver this baby today. WTH? Taylor hops on her cell phone (mine is at home dead as usual) and calls Justin to tell him to get to the hospital NOW!!!! Then we call my mom. So we finally get checked in the hospital and we are given a room (which kind of freaked me out too, usually they just throw you in triage). After one hour of being monitored and Tyna (grandma) and Matt (uncle) and Justin racing to the hospital to be by our side we are released. My blood pressure finally fell to normal and Katie's heart rate fell within normal range. Thank goodness. The whole time I kept thinking...what is going on, We are not ready for this kid to come yet. The house is not nearly as clean as I like it (catching up on laundry takes a toll on the house) Katie has no sheets on her bed, my bags are not packed and if I am not mistaken I have a load of dishes to do. Not to mention no one has fed gizmo today! So needless to say if this has taught me anything it is to be prepared and ready at a minutes notice. If Katie wants to come early then she will and we have to be prepared. So for now I will be waking every morning to my check list of daily duties that will be done before anything else so that I will not be stressed by my "what I need to do today" list. I figure if we go into Labor anytime soon if will be tomorrow. Mom and I are taking the girls school clothes shopping and we will have Kryssy too. Ok clothes shopping with a teen and a pre teen is bad enough now throw an obstinate 3 year old into the mix and you have the perfect recipe for a crazy day that could possibly shock both Katie and I into Labor. WE WILL SEE....